It's been a funny couple of months. Extremely life-changing. In a quiet, reflective way.
Martha has been ill for quite a bit of it - colds, teething etc. and whilst having some quieter days at home and walking on the Common, I've been facing up to a lot of emotions I've been carrying around for most of my life around my disability.
For those of you who don't know me well, I was born with dislocated hips which was undiagnosed until I was 2, causing enough damage for many operations, the most disruptive for me being the total hip replacement at age 18 which left me in a wheelchair. Over the course of a year I learned to walk again, albeit on crutches, and now a walking stick. For many years I chose to ignore my physical disability - I usually put a very happy face on and pretended to everyone, including myself, that all was good and that I wasn't going to let it get in the way. And it didn't, for many years. I had jobs in the city and in TV and worked and played hard.
But since becoming a Mum, I've felt more physically impaired than ever before. Just the logistics of a buggy, toddler and walking stick are mind-boggling and make for some very interesting adventures. And public transport is something that is to be tackled only on a very good day! So my world has got a lot smaller. And the emotions that come with this change of lifestyle are important to accept. Acceptance will hopefully allow me to teach Martha about disability and equip her with the understanding and empathy towards disability that I wish everyone had.
Since facing these emotions head-on, I've had paintings pouring out of me. It's like I've hit oil. And the good stuff is yet to come! I've got a really exciting year lined up in 2019... a new studio, an atelier course and an exhibition... and that's just for starters.
I'm one lucky girl...