The Full Story
Trigger Warning: I talk about Miscarriage below
In March 2020, just as the UK was going into lockdown, I had just come out of 3 months in bed having had my ankle reconstructed. After waiting years to add another little one to our family of three, we started trying for a sibling for my daughter. Success happened quickly, followed by those dreaded words 'I can't see a heartbeat'. And alone in a hospital bed I had the most traumatic experience, ending in emergency surgery and leaving me with horrific PTSD flashbacks. Looking up to the sky would be my trigger, so I spent months of my life doing everything I could to look down.
During some of my darkest days I really didn't know how to put one foot in front of another. One day I was drawn outside for a walk and came across this amazing pebble lodged in a tree at eye height. It said 'be happy' and I realised that I could be happy again. In that moment I lay under this tree. I started to see colour again. And just Breathe...
Coming back into the studio, the only way I could describe what had just happened was to paint what I had seen laying under the tree. Instead of getting out my yellow ochre paint as a ground for the painting, I reached for my fluorescent pink paint and the rest is history. Eighteen months later, with three miscarriages behind me and untold grief and anger, I also have a forest of these beautiful trees which bring me so much comfort and in a strange way, keep the babies I've lost nearby.
You can currently purchase Fine Art prints of some of these trees through my shop. Plans are afoot to start selling some of these originals too - so watch this space and sign up to my mailing list to be the first to hear.